Improvised Toothpaste

Toothpaste is one of those things that hasn't actually improved since it was invented. That's why marketers try to convince you that, don't worry guys, THIS toothpaste is the real deal. That last one was shit, full of asbestos. But this new one, god damn, it's got these computer generated blue spheres that like, clip through your molar and attach to that green foliage that's sticking out of it like shrapnel. Then they both phase out of existence. We're 25 year old models wearing lab coats, so I think we know what we're talking about.

Half of keeping your mouth clean (yes, yours specifically) is just the act of brushing, but you don't need to buy $7 tubes of bubblegum-icecream-vomit coloured paste to make up the last half. You just need:

6 parts Baking Soda

2 parts Water

1 part Hydrogen Peroxide (3-5%)

Dash of Flavor

Add more or less water to get the consistency of paste you like.

I made my first batch with cinnamon. It doesn't taste sweet and minty like commercial brands, but the mixture dilutes when you rinse with water so you're just left with a clean feeling on your teeth and no aftertaste.

The hydrogen peroxide kills most any bacteria or fungus in your mouth. It's the most active ingredient in a lot of mouth washes, and you can get it at any drug store. The baking soda works as an abrasive to help remove cavity creeps, and is also alkaline, which helps reduce the acid that can hurt your tooth fortress.

I've seen some recipes that call for glycerine as a sweetener, but that stuff leaves film on your teeth and I think it does more harm than good. But I'm no toothpaste scientist.